Eight weeks, or ‘no mamas, I’m not happy all the time!’

Yesterday was the 8 week mark from Darwin’s wild entry into the world. 8 weeks is supposed to be the peak of crying, so I suppose it’s appropriate that last night she fussed and cried for quite a while before settling to sleep for a couple of hours, only to wake up to cry inconsolably for another period. Currently, she is sleeping restlessly on my belly. I suspect either gas or demon possession.

As Darwin gets bigger and older, her interactions with the world have become much more interesting. Currently she is in love with my parent’s ceiling fan. The fan gets way more smiles than anyone or anything else. She coos at it (she started really cooing last week) insistently. I wish I could ask her what is so wonderful about this particular fan, as she does not respond the same way to our ceiling fan.

We’ve fallen into a bit of a rhythm during the first half of the day now. Up by about 730, breakfast and coffee for MamaLee before work, I either rest or go into my parent’s house. Darwin has decided that a nap at 10 meets her approval and she will sleep anywhere from and hour to (sometimes) 4 hours, I assume depending on her level of hunger, the state of her diaper, and where we are. I tried to sleep during this morning nap, but usually can’t fall asleep, so this is my house work/self care time. Wash and fold diapers, play with the dog, watch mindless tv, sweep the house. I’ve even started doing a little bit of work from home, mostly setting up simulations to run so that I can start processing data when I get back to work. In a week and a half.

The end of maternity leave hovers, both a welcome and exhausting prospect. I’m going back full time until the end of the year in an attempt to cover the unexpected birth costs from the transfer, and the student loans that start coming due in December, and the roof payments, and MamaLee’s tuition. I really hate the money system. And the fact that we don’t have paid maternity leave in the USA. The exhausting aspects include having to leave this little person who still needs me so very much, and not having a place to care for her yet. Infant care is almost impossible to get into in our area, outside of unregistered in home care, which I find terrifying. Even so, care at a great facility would mean about $5 per hour, compared to double digit costs for hourly babysitting. It would make more sense for MamaLee to stay home with the bug than to hire for one on one care, given her pay rate and the taxes taken out. So for now we’re hobbling something together with my mom, me working when MamaLee is not (nights and weekends), and hoping that some of the families at the daycare where we’re on the wait list decide to move to Australia.