It is really hot here (for Oregon). Leah brilliantly bought a watermelon yesterday, which Darwin proceeded to dent impressively. For the last week, Darwin has woken with a dry diaper every morning. She’s been out of daytime diapers for awhile now, but we told her she needed two weeks of dry wake ups before she could drop her nighttime diaper. I assumed when I watched her put away that watermelon last night that she would be wet this morning. Instead, she woke up quite disoriented around 12:45, sat up and said “mama I need to go potty!” After using the bathroom I asked if she wanted her diaper on (it was so hot…). She proceeded to be diaperless and dry for the rest of the night.
Tonight, we try diaperless at bedtime. Wish us (and our sheets) luck!
1) Darwin calls scones ‘cones’.
2) Linnea points at everything all the time now. When I get home from work, she sits in my lap and grins and points in my face over and over saying “mama!”
3) Darwin taught Linnea how to say “bam” when she gives high fives, but Linnea says a ‘d’ instead of a ‘b’.
4) Darwin says Xenopus gilli. And ‘that’s a coniferous tree!” And “that bird is a Robin.” Science parenting success.
5) Linnea sticks her toes in your face and says “ticku-ticku” and laughs hilariously.
6) Darwin spent about 30 minutes throwing rocks in the river this afternoon. A dog came by and she took off, saying she was “going to go help the doggy in the water!”
7) Linnea puts everything on her head to play peekaboo. Everything. Books, clothes, a small piece of string. She thinks she is so funny. She is right.
8) Our latest conversation:
“I’m ready to go to my preschool Mom.”
I’m glad you’re excited but they don’t start until August.
“I think it’s time for August, Mom. I’m getting tired of summer vacation, Mom, I’m ready to go back to preschool.”
Apparently she’s been going to preschool for ‘years and years’. Who knew.
When we decided it was a good time to try to get pregnant the first time, I was 29 and the thought of long term family planning (‘how many, when, what spacing’) seemed like questions far too optimistic for two women who had not yet been pregnant. Who knew if our first attempts would work? And I always knew I wanted two kids if possible, so it wasn’t really on my radar that I might be about to turn 34, happily caring for two strong-willed, funny, capable, strong, smart, and energetic children and asking these very questions. I never really considered that I would become one of those people who thinks about timing children in relation to what my body might be capable of doing. But here I am, to spite myself.
I should probably start with this: we don’t know if we’ll try to grow our family more. Many of my readers know first or second hand that even if we choose to try, it might not happen, with no connection to age. I have a whole list of blog topics that I’ve been thinking about surrounding growing our family, including but not limited to: Are we ridiculous to think about more children while I’m working full time, my wife is in her PhD program, and we already have two small children who are eating us one nibble at a time? Is the stress of ttc really worth it with two little ones?My mother and the guilt of increasing her carbon footprint. The effect on our sweet toddler who is already jealous of the sister who doesn’t get to nurse with me. The effect on the little peanut who has recently discovered ‘mamama’ can also mean ‘mine!’ Will it matter when the Cascadia fault brings down the entire west side of Oregon? Climate change. Evil orange 45 and trying to pay for Healthcare. Nuclear holocaust. Basically in that order.
But today, I’m thinking about my ability to have kids, and my body and mind as I get older. We don’t want to have large age gaps between kids. 22 months is nice. They are old enough now that they have started playing together. They are also old enough now that we had started trying for Linnea when Darwin was Linnea’s age. I wish we were ready now, but yeah no. So the question becomes, when would we be ready? Will the choice be made for us by simply…timing out? Darwin still doesn’t sleep through the night (well, sometimes by the 5 hours definition of it, but that’s some next label bullshit right there). If and when she starts, could I really see starting over with a nurseling? If my mother’s experience is to be expanded to my own offspring, I would need to get pregnant before Darwin turns 4. That seems like a reasonable goal. A year from now I could see possibly being in a good position to try.
I would be 35. ‘Geriatric’ under the ob definition of pregnancy. My midwife wouldn’t label anything so poorly. If it was another low risk pregnancy I could certainly plan another homebirth. This also pushes back the possibility of a fourth, Leah would be 36 or 37 before we would be ready again. So that complicates things. I wish I could say ‘one thing at a time’ but with us it is really two. Three if you count Leah’s dissertation. Because that’s it’s own baby.
Are we totally crazy to even be thinking about this? Probably. But the world needs more gaybies. Someone has to do it, right?
We had a feeling. Back when Linnea was just shy of 5 months and began scooting backwards. At 6 months when she launched herself off of my lap (luckily I was sitting on the floor at the time). At just past 6 months when she began to crawl forward. Today, it becsme truly and undeniably official: we have a fearless climber on our hands.
Today, one day shy of 11 months, Linnea climbed onto our couch without any help. Perspective: Darwin did this around 18 months. Persistent and strong are the two words that best describe this little monkey. Don’t change, kid. You’re going places.