This time last year – January

January of 2014 was a combination of shock, excitement, terror, and exhaustion. After getting the positive pregnancy tests we decided to tell a few of our family members.

We told my parents by taking them flowers and telling them they were ‘flowers for Opa’ (my dad) – it took him a minute to figure it out and when he did he turned bright red and his eyes welled up with tears. It was very sweet.

When we told my mom she got it right away. I’d been carefully avoiding any alcohol through the holidays and while my dad doesn’t tend to notice things like that, my mom is quietly perceptive. She was also very excited.

The thing about my parents is that they love being grandparents, but have always been very, very careful not to ever put anything that could even being construed as pressure on my brother or myself to have children, so it made the telling that much more fun and specially.

The following day we went to talk to MamaLee’s major professor/direct entry midwife. I remember going to her office and Leah asking to talk with her with the door closed, and she knew right away. She was so excited for us and happy to be our midwife. I was relieved to have a care provider I trusted. She also told us we would schedule our first appointment for around week 10 or 11. I remember it felt like forever away at that point – the first twelve weeks were the longest.

Throughout the this, the second month of my pregnancy, I was exhausted and crampy, which made me quite nervous and quite thrilled. I continued to do most things, including working with the youth and young adults at our UU church, working full time (although there were times I worked at night when I couldn’t drag myself out of bed in the morning – so good to have a job with flexible hours), walking the dog, and generally trying to take care of myself.

I have had chronic migraines since I was pretty young, around 7 or 8, and I knew that they would either get way better, or way worse with pregnancy. Throughout the first trimester, I continued to get migraines, some of them quiet nasty, so I tried hard to take it very easy on myself. The hardest part was that I couldn’t take any pain killers, especially during the first trimester when all the organs are forming, so when I did get them (about once a week), I had to get by with heat and cold packs and dark rooms.

I did get a photo of my belly before anything started to show, which is funny to think about. I thought about taking a photo every week, but unfortunately that just ended up not being a priority. I am glad to have a shot of what I looked like before Bug!

8 weeks (no real bump yet!)

8 weeks (no real bump yet!)

Are your feet cold?

Because I never thought we would have a night of sleep like last night in the first year. Darwin not only officially slept through the night, she slept for an actually night (not the 5 hours that are defined as sleeping through the night). She nursed at 8:30 pm, I took her to MamaLee when she decided that she was not tired at all, and they were up until 10 pm. Then she slept until I nursed her (while still asleep) at 5:30 am. She officially woke up at 7:10 am. In other words, she slept for over 9 hours. I fully expect it will not happen again until she is 4, which appears to be the age at which kids in my family sleep through the night, but it was like this beautiful light at the end of the sleep tunnel. Some day, there will be regular sleep again. For now, I’m going to go snuggle my sleeping baby until she’s ready to nurse.

4 months

Darwin turned 4 months old on Saturday. She also met my favorite milestone so far (on Saturday night no less): laughing!

Four months looks like lots of wanting to stand up with support and smiling when MamaRae comes into the room. It looks like chewing on everything she can get to her mouth, and deciding that pacifiers are actually amazing. It is the beginning of 6 to 9 month clothing and the end of the very largest 0 to 3 month sleeper. It is 17 lbs 5 oz (height to be determined at the pediatrician on Tuesday). Sometimes it is telling mamas that it is time to go to bed and them missing the notice so some fussing and angry nursing before falling asleep all at once (bet nursing mamas understand why I’m thrilled she’s taking a pacifier now).

I love four months, just as I have loved the previous three. Darwin is sleeping peacefully beside me now, after a day of interrupted naps and a bath that was great until she was done and still in it. In spite of things that should have made it so hard, it was a good day. We saw friends and family at church, we had lunch with Opa and Grandma, and MamaLee finally got her cough checked out by a doctor and got on an inhaler. Hoping tomorrow night she can sleep on the bedroom again after many weeks of nagging coughing.

On another note, next weekend my brother and sister-in-law and nephew are flying out to meet Darwin, and I’m very excited! Nephew B is just over 2 and I haven’t seen him in person in about 7 months. He’s so much bigger and I am really looking forward to introducing him to his cousin.

A missing piece

I mentioned in my first This time last year post that I didn’t have a photo of my positive pregnancy tests. Well apparently MamaLee is just awesome and got one that I didn’t know about. For some reason that was a big deal to me. This picture brought tears to my eyes tonight (a year and two days after it was taken).

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