Today, Darwin spent her first morning with our new nanny. This summer I finally admitted that I just don’t have enough hours in the day, and that I really needed for us to add some hours through childcare. Our friends agreed and ended up finding a woman who is a great fit to be with the kids for 4 mornings a week. That’s 20 hours a week in which I’m able to focus 100% on work and not try to schedule childcare around meetings, classes, or hiccups.
Drop off was hard. Darwin cried when we left. But then I got to my office and got more done in a 4 hour period than I have in months. I felt productive. I then worked through my lunch. I continued until Leah came to get me with the kids for their well visits.
Right now, I feel like a new person. I’m exhausted from only 6 hours of sleep. I still have probably 2 hours of work ahead of me tonight. I’m sporting a headache. But tonight I played with Darwin at bedtime without feeling stressed about not having gotten enough done today. I had a level of patience that I haven’t haven’t had since she was months old. Darwin responded by having the best bedtime in weeks, and falling asleep before 9.
Today I found an elusive balance that I’m sure will continue to come and go, but now that I know it exists, it is something I am going to work for more.